Yesterday and today it could be considered very disappointing days. I was told by the OPO, that my recruiter board would be on Tuesday. Knowing this I would really have to bone up on my pubs by studying all weekend. I knew I was probably going to need some help so I asked Mary Ellen if she would help me to study. She said she would but advised me to get some rest on Friday night and she would help me Saturday. I trusted her. Little to my surprise Saturday she began getting ready to leave the house. When I asked there were she was going she said she was going to help Amanda paint. I asked her if she remembered a offering to help me study. She said she had already promised them Amanda, and would have to help me in the evening time. I told her that I would need help in the daytime because I was sick and totally drained in the evenings.She said she couldn't help that and that she was going to help Amanda no matter what I said or needed. Of course we got into a pretty bad and it really didn't know too well. As she was leaving the house I text her reminding her that she promised me that she would help me study. "Fucking Stupid"had came out of my mouth at one point. By this time I was really pissed. I really didn't care what I said to her and didn't care if I hurt her feelings are not.
Now some were all along the line I got off track and did other things. Finally Mary Ellen came home. She asked me how my studying had been going. Well you know this one isn't gonna go too well, so I told her I didn't have any help and couldn't really get much done all day. At this Point I reminded her she had promised me that she would help me study. I didn't get much out of her with that in return to my office to try and study. Dinner was ready around 6:30 PM so we ate. I wasn't feeling very well at all by that point so I've read turned to my office to try and salvage a couple hours of studying. Now I believe it was this night, as I'd get kind of confused, that Rachel was out for the evening. Julia had been excused from the table and was at the computer. I took this opportunity to ask Mary Ellen a few questions. Now you know this isn't gonna go very well either. When I asked her couple of questions she didn't give an honest answer at all and I can tell. I asked her why she wouldn't give me honest answers to my questions and when I asked that she became horribly defensive and I knew it was from that point that the conversation would go downhill rapidly. As you can imagine I brought up the fact of the huge fight we've gotten into on Friday when I came home and got no help and someone parked in the driveway and I had to carry in my stuff all by myself, which took like five or six trips. Yadda yadda yadda… We had a big argument that didn't go well and all. I ended up study as much as I could and then playing guitar for a little while until she came down and work out. After that I made sure she had some good cold water and she sat down with me in my office. She sat and spoke with me for almost an hour, which in itself is a miracle, but at no time was studying brought up at least not her helping me study. Instead, most of the time was spent telling me that if I brought my son out to Missouri and payed for a year of his college, that he's a grown man and needs to make it on his own or be given a wake up call talking to by me. Now I looking back as I write this, it hurts me to think in retrospect, that she would rather help anyone else but me and that the people she would help our terrible to her. Those she chooses to help the likes of her sister and mother have stolen, lied and done nothing but wrong to her. I told her all of this via text message as that is the way we fight half the time, and also that I was the only one who has helped her over the past 10 to 12 years of her life. I told her to look around here, that everything she has came from me!
Well here is is Sunday evening and she hasn't helped me once, like she promised and she's had a weekend where she's done some helping adn none of it to her favor, or mine. Instead, she's spent the entire time over at her 23 year old daughter's newly bought house HELPING her paint, of which she has a fiance that is fully capable of doing two houses twice that size in the amount of time she's spent helping. Remember, I'm supposed to give MY 22 year old a talking to about doing on his own, but I can't be helped in my career because a 23 yr old has to be helped along. What?!?
As confusing as it is, there is no rest for the wicked. I must go and get back to studying as my entire family sits upstairs, "resting" from a long day, 3 hrs, of painting! ~sigh~
Thanks for tuning in true believers!
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