Does anybody even read these entries anymore?

Suddenly remembered I had a blog and it's been several years! 

Long Time No Blogging...

Wow! Haven't blogged in a long time and so much has happened it's dizzying. Bernie and I have long since married and moved to a neighbouring town with her son and adoptive son as well as my daughter! We have been through the ringer emotionally with the kids and finances. Bernie's health took a down swing but she's recently had neck surgery to fuse three disks and is feeling much better but still healing. Brett met a young lady and had a baby and moved out, winding up moving back to Arizona. Julia was going through such a rough time in her living situation with my ex that it finally became physical between her and her sister. She was choked and rough housed on multiple occasions until she finally broke and was institutionalized for over a week. She hasn't spent a night at her mother's since, save for visiting on weekends. Her mother has finally taken 1/2 my retirement and refused abatement from the current child support order. She also doesn't pay any child support, but has given one check back to me in an obvious attempt to make it look like she is paying. I have come to my senses about religion after 40+ years of being enslaved to guilt and shame. What a sham! All those "tithes" I pumped into that fraud would sure come in handy right now. After doing my own research and finding out that the one called Jesus never actually existed and that the entire thing is just a huge adaptation of paganism with a circle removed from their cross of the zodiac. I have delved farther into the origins of mankind a lot in the past year and have a decent understanding of how we probably showed up here on this planet. What an eye opening journey. There's really no one called God, but many who early man thought as god-like. We, as a species have served them for more years than the history books teach but the dating holds up comparatively against primordial Adam and Eve, around 240,000 years. The bible actually talks about gold in the first few chapters and no one's ever thought about why. That fact baffles me but with a bit of perspective, slavery comes into full view in light of how we all live today.

Much Ado about Nothing.

Today is the first day that I'm actually trying Dragon NaturallySpeaking to I can dictate into a blog.I don't know how to capitalize a sentence. Having a hell of a time getting used to it. The capitalization is really confusing me. I'm not sure if it places a space after each period or not. So when I'm done saying the sentence I have to actually say the punctuation. Then the next sentence will automatically have a space in front of it and capitalized. I can't like the idea of being able to just sit and talk and have all the words appear on the screen for me. Okay so I'm thinking I'm getting the hang of this. Hopefully after this blogging will go much smoother and will be pain – free. So the other day Bernie took us to see Star Trek Into the Darkness. It was wonderful to be thought of and to be taken to see a movie. Bernie shows me that she likes to do things for me. I'm not used to it and I am very happy that she does it. I just hope I don't screw it up and cause her not to want to do it anymore. I haven't been able to do much for her because I don't have any pocket money, at least the last month I didn't maybe more. There are so many things I want to be able to do for for her. Like recently she wanted a new phone because I think I had influenced her into trying to get an Android device instead of the Apple device she wanted an iPad mini to the specific. She has quite a few books that she wanted to be able to bring over to the android operating system but was unable to because she had bought them in iTunes. I tried for a while to find a workaround for this and I think it's so stupid, but the DRM codes attached to downloadable books or e-books is so restrictive you can't pull a book from one system to another. Speaking of books she's been reading a series of books by George RR Martin. He's the guy that wrote the Game of Thrones series. This series is about something entirely different. (I have to pee so bad I think I'm going to whiz out my ear!) cool just now after I went to the bathroom I took a quick shower changed into my trunks and went to the pool for about 20 minutes. I swear each time I can and it's like the most refreshing 20 minutes of my life. I think I'm going to start feeling better soon. So many things in my life to be thankful for right now. Bernie's dog lives with us now. his name is Nugget and he is a Shih Tzu. He is the cutest thing you'd ever want to see. We had a rough time of it the first couple weeks but since I've gotten him leash trained we're doing much better. My son Brett still lives with me and Bernie got him a puppy. His name is Ando and he is a Bo Jack. He is really cute he is brown with a white belly and white markings one of which looks like Avatar the last air Bender. Well I guess that's all for now Holler at you later. – Chief out

Off the blogging wagon...

hadn't posted in a while. Met a wonderful lady on POF. met her at the bar she tends in the evenings and went back for more. I'm a silly drunk and kinda obnoxious if the conditions are right, which is not very often but it happened, inevitably. We and some of the folks from the bar went to Waffle House after her shift one night. I am a big movie/show quotes guy and a couple of the guys were too. We were giggling and quoting and she was not impressed. She was a bit tipsy and laughed it off. The next week, I went in the bar on Open Mic night and got my drink ON! I was hollering at the bands and making an ass outta myself. I even went up and sang and WON the open mic drawing($50) and was threatened with bodily harm if i requested "Dick in a Box" one more time. The next day I texted her an apology for being a drunken ass and got a "don't think I wanna date you" response. It hurt that she hadn't even got to know me with the exception of tipsy or drunk. She was a very attractive mother of some beautiful kids and working two jobs after her marriage broke up a few years ago. I would have really liked for her to get to know me and see where it could have gone. Just goes to show ya, if you're gonna try and make an impression, drunk and obnoxious isn't the way to pull it off. Sad, but I'll recover.

Today I purchased Dragon and using voice input. It's going to take some getting used to. Today's New Year's Day and I stayed up until nearly 7 AM this morning when I went to bed it had snowed fairly heavily, when I rose it was raining and nearly melting off all the snow. Got a call from +Barry Wainwright, who invited me down to his house for New Year's Eve. He said there was good to be another couple at the house besides he and his wife I politely declined and wished him a happy new year. I'm hoping Dragon is going to help me write papers for college in a quick manner and I would hope that my art professor would accept late entry for my midterm she says I didn't turn in. You have to drop them in a drop box for Columbia College and wings you do that you automatically receive a dropbox receipt of which there is none for my midterm paper. I have recently wiped my computer hard drive for five times and did not save my midterm paper to the cloud, to my chagrin. I'm planning on getting a new laptop and have promised myself a gaming laptop for a very long time. I've done a lot of research over the last week or so and I had had in mind an Alienware but after searching for several of those, I had found that alien ware are a very clunky heavy machine that most other gaming laptops are able to compete with very easily without all of the clunkiness. I believe I have decided on Asus Republic of Gamers which has the best fan setup I've ever seen on a laptop, not to mention it's blazingly fast. I guess that's about all for today. -Chief out

Dagoba

I am not grieving much over the loss of the military life anymore. it's been nearly a year since I left it and nearly 4 since I left my one true love, the sea. The anxiety doesn't come from that. It was there for several years and kept at bay with constant busying of sea schedules and inspections and jets screaming off the "pointy end". One cannot truly understand the source of my anxiety unless they understood my job. There were lives hanging in the balance with every decision I made. Whether it was the pilot and rio clinging to the innards of the aircraft I was slinging up into the air with fire spewing out the back, or the guys that were in my charge, and ensuring they were constantly ok. If I had a catapult go down... well... in the theatre of world operations there is always a carrier. That carrier has jets on it and they are the one fine line in the sand between our ground troops advancing or staying safe. Also the jets are the magic wand in any conflict that can erradicate the enemy with one swift gushing of armorment and firepower. ok, back to the catapult, There are only 4 cats on every carrier, and 4 arresting gear wires to retrieve the jets from flight. When one of those cats breaks, there are only three. Each battle platform is mesured at the pentagon on the huge workd map in realtime by percentages. When one cat is down, that little blip moves from 100% to 75% in a microsecond, lessening our warfighting capabilities in an entire region. if two goes down, kiss your ass goodbye because we can barely sustain air supreiority in that particular theatre. Well, since 97' I have been in charge of at least one catapult. By 2006 I was in charge of all 4, and all the arresting wires and the electronics which guide the planes in for recovery. It's a knee jerk life that has a "the only easy day was yesterday" kinda mindset. Most of the guys that are in positions like mine were able to tune out the gravity of the situation or just able to mindlessly carry out their repititious duties, too stupid to grasp the level at which the job hung on the scheme of things. I literally controlled the entire warfighting capability of an entire theatre, let alone the carrier. I once tried explaining this to Barry and he could hardly grasp the idea that they would hang all that responsibility on one guy. I don't think he really believed me, or was just placating a guy who's delusions of grandeur made him think he was that important to his country. I truly wish the latter were the case. It's not! I'm shaking as I type this and having to retype every like 4th or 5th word due to anxiety. It keeps the giant pinned down and I am a giant of a man inside, capable of huge things. I someties feel like Yoda living in a little hut in a swamp, so powerful that he could take down gods and idols without lifting a finger but somehow exiled by an unseen force putting him there.

Sunday Blues

I finished my Art class last night with Brett's help. He's really great at digging through Google and finding stuff out. He's gonna be a great husband, my only hope is that he has a great wife. I went to bed at 1 or 2 last night while Brett's friends were over watching videos. I slept a couple hours and woke up with an achy tummy and went to sit it out in the living room. Chatted a while longer with friends and went to bed a couple hours later. I awoke to a headache this morning, well noon, rose and took some excedrin. That's really all that helps with my headaches, which I recently learned were migraines, during my physical for retirement. I'm really down after taking my regular meds and hope it's not a theme that's building. I was really down the past couple days as well. I have been, over the past several months, been experimenting with prolonged periods of not bathing. I somehow feel it will help me if there's ever anything that would happen to force this to be the case. I can't make it very long, 3 or 4 days tops, as private areas do not take kindly to not being shown some cleanly attention. That and I detest feeling gross and dirty. I would hope I would find a way to cleanse myself if the inevitable happens. I'm wondering what's going on with the weather last few weeks. It can't seem to make up it's mind whether to be really cold, like freezing, or fall like temperatures. Some think it's global climate change and the planet's pole aligning itself to a different degree. I do know that true north isn't aligned with magnetic north any more as a compass doesn't align with GPS. Whatever's happening it's wreaking havoc on my sinuses. I'm an afrin junkie at night just to breathe. I find myself explaining why I never call anyone nor answer my phone at all more and more. I have made the attempt to answer it when it rings but my social anxiety really goes bananas on the phone. I wish I could feel more normal with all of it. I think I would have more friends if I were more sociable.